Here's looking at you, kiddos!




The kids' school had a project fair in school and I thought it was such a great idea. Instead of just doing projects to score marks, the school had an open Saturday where projects done by the students are made available for their parents and friends to view. Even the K1 & K2 students were involved!

Ann's project was about the African animals, these were her masterpieces...


Love her drawing on the tiger


Pretty friendly cheetahs



More of her works


Homemade animal costumes. The white one belongs to Ann


Jellyfish and swordfish done by another class


Animals made by using recycled materials such as tissue boxes, bottle caps etc...


Ann and two of her classmates making presentation in front of parents, teachers and friends. Very proud of her, she has grown to be a very confident speaker.
Way to go, my little princess!


Kai's project was on the old and new Shanghai





Some other projects done by the primary school kids

Looking at the projects, you will know that these are done by the students. Very raw, very amateur but that is the way it should be. School projects should not and must not be done by parents using the latest technology and complicate gadets. The whole purpose of having projects is to allow the children to be creative and innovative. To have lessons outside the textbook. Our role as parents is to guide them, give them advice, give them ideas but NEVER to do it for them.

Health and Wealth


The cycle of life...
Birth - Infancy - Childhood - Adolescence - Adulthood - Midlife - Old Age - Death & Dying

I think I should be at the midlife stage right now. The past couple of days, I have been talking or rather msm-ing two very close friends of mine. When you hear about your friends looking after their aged parent/s, you know you have arrived at the next chapter of your life.

An ex-colleague of mine whose father is in the hospital due to lung infection and liver faliure. She shared about how she was trying to spent as much time as she could with her father (she is based in Australia) and how she was mentally and physically exhausted. Yes, looking after the sick and the aged is indeed a very drainning job. It is a job that sapped up every onuce of your energy.

Then there is another good friend whom I have known since I was 13 years old...yes, it those kind of friend that have seen you grown up, get married, have kids and I told him, he will most likely be one of my pall bearer. His mother was very sick and weak due to lung cancer. He shared about how financially stressed it could be for him and the family.

As a good friend, I could just offer my ears (in this instance, would be my eyes and fingers as we talked through the computers). Whatever I said, whatever I could do are only moments of comfort for them because, really, they are the ones who have to face it day in and day out. I could only pray for God's strength and grace to be upon them and their families.

These reminded me of the fragility of life. Really, what matter to us is really not about chasing after the best house, the best car, the best career, the best of all material things, it is really HEALTH. We can have the best of everything but without a healthy body, we cannot really enjoy living in a mansion, we cannot really enjoy driving the best car with the latest technology, when we are confined to the bed and completely dependent on others.

I look at my own parents and my mother-in-law and everyday I thank God for them and for the past many years, it has been my morning prayer to ask God to blessed them with a strong and healthy body till a ripe old age. For you skeptics who think that prayers are merely talking to the air, let me tell you that these prayers have kept them all strong and healthy. Not just that, they are blessed with wisdom to be financially independent. I have constantly nagged at them to eat healthily. My father's meal is very simple - fish and white porridge are his main meal and I can tell you he counts faster than any of his three kids! They are my role models, I want to be like them, healthy and financially independent even till old age. I am not going to be caught up with chasing after the riches of the world...It is devastating if my children go to court to fight over our estates (I will turn in my grave if that day happens!). It always saddens me to read about siblings fighting each other over dead parents' wealth or children suing one parent over a dead parent's estates.

Being healthy and financially independent are the best 'estates' to leave behind for my kids!

Step out and discover




After sending Ann to her pottery class, I have about an hour...never familiar with the roads in Puxi and I find the place congested so don't really enjoy walking alone. But with the one hour waiting time, I might as well just venture out.

Just beside Ann's school, I saw a little alley, safe enough to walk in. I decided to just check out the place and I was in for a surprise...


The were rows of small little shops, artsy shops, quirky shops and cafes



The old and the new, the ancient and the modern, a wonderful harmony


Lots of alfresco cafes line the alley too



Beautiful murals work of art

The houses here are old but they have their personality and their own character. Although the shops and cafes are new, the structure of the houses, (stone houses known as shikumen) are very much the same. A place which has retained its uniqueness inspite of the ever changing landscape of Shanghai.

This one hour of discovery reminded me of this that I have read...It's a beautiful thing when you leave yourself vulnerable to discover anything and everything. ~ Kate Hudson

Shhh...artist at work




Ann in full concentration...don't disturb

Evian...for brushing teeth


In Shanghai, tap water is not safe for drinking and so the people here drink only bottled water. There are many local brands of bottled water, Nestle is considered a foreign brand which the locals seldom buy, then of course you have the super-branded brand Evian, Perrier and probably some other brands which I do not know because I do not buy them.

Recently, a friend of mine told me that her friend had said this to her...

"I don't use Nestle water to drink, I only use it to wash fruits and vegetables and also for cooking. For drinking and brushing teeth, I use Evian."

When I heard that, I nearly fell off from my seat. My family and I have been drinking Nestle bottled water since we arrived at Shanghai. We brush teeth using Hyflux filter filtered tap water and we are alive and kicking. If only Evian bottled water is fit for drinking and brushing teeth, then who are we seeing...the millions of people walking on the streets of Shanghai.

That is why, from day one, I have told myself that I should and MUST never be sucked into the 'expat-tai-tai' (lady of leisure) mentality. I must stressed that NOT all expats trailing spouses behave this way but there are indeed a large majority of such, I call them 'snooty expat-tai-tais'. When I meet them at the farmers' market club house, my smiles and nods of acknowledgment will never or rarely be reciprocated. Perhaps I am invisible or their eys are stuck on their heads or maybe they all think I am an 'ayi' (maid).

My friend onced wtitnessed an incident where the mother of a toddler literally had to peel the wailing child off from the 'ayi' as the 'ayi' needed to do some work. Very sad scene as I agreed with my friend that it showed how much time the ayi has spent with the child. I cannot imagine the day when the toddler has to return home. Remember expats are just visitors in a foreign land.

I also remember reading in a forum where one mother was venting about how she wanted the 'ayi' to stay till the baby is put to sleep but the ayi didn't want to as she wanted to go home by 7pm. So sad isn't it. That these expat-tai-tais look upon themselves as queens and that they have forgotten that they are the mothers of their own kids. They must remember that evetually reality will set in when it is time to go home.

I have recently got to know this new arrival - an expat wife, her husband is a CEO that makes her a CEO's wife, you would have imagined her to be one who will be living the high life of a CEO's wife. But she is one down-to-earth woman. She asked me about marketing in a local market, got all excited about shopping at wholesale market....she told me, "why spent RMB100 when you can just pay RMB50 for the same thing." I have finally found a friend...one who refused to be called an expat wife, one who refused to live an expat lifestyle, not only that, she refused to let her three daughters lead such a life too. She said, "if they are so used to it, what happens when we get home?"

My new friend told me that she met up with a lady who thinks tea and three sandwiches cost RMB700 is perfectly normal in Shanghai and she nearly choked on her bread.

As for me, I would rather head home to enjoy with my family, my homemade chocolatey cupcakes, perhaps two or three loaves of no-knead bread and the many dozens of dumplings which I have learned from my dim-sum course!

In books, there are much buried treasures




I have a bookmark which has a few quotes printed on it...
"You cannot open a book without learning something." - Confucious
"A room without books is like a body without a soul." - Cicero
"The more you that you read, the more things you will know.
The more things that you learn, the more places you'll go." - Dr Seuss

I love reading but with the eye-sight failing me surely and quickly, I do get tired easily. One thing that is not very good about aging is that your eyes are failing you, your stamina is also slowly diminishing. So much so that I find myself taking longer and longer time to finish one book. But still, I want to carry on with this habit of reading because it rubs onto my two children and I want them to experience learning in various forms, I want them to be man and woman with a soul and I want them to go places...

When we went back home for the Chinese New Year, the first thing we did was to pick up books from our favourite hunt - The Bras Basah Complex, a huge mall selling new and used books. I casually picked up a book and found myself so absorbed by it. For once, I am thankful for the jams in Shanghai because it is in all the travellings, I buried myself with this good read.


Subhas Anandan - The Best I could

This book is about himself and the many infamous cases which he fought for. One of the top, if not the top criminal lawyer in Singapore. He said, in his own words " Even the most heinous offender deserves a proper trial". It reminded me of what Christ teachings are all about, "love the sinner but hate the sins." Now, let's be a bit more profound...isn't what a person does in their life time make him a good person or a bad person. So really it's not about the person but more about his actions.

That's how Subhas handle each of his case. He hated some of the cases, he hated some of the things that have been done but he fought his hardest for the accused. Something which many of us could hardly do. The more I read, the more respect I have for this man. I most admired him for being able to build good friendships with the good, the bad and the ugly. In our modern world, don't we just look for good, vaulable people to make friends with. It is a very sad truth.

In this book, I was opened to his way of parenting...I quote him,

"I have been asked many times why my son is not studying law as though it's given that he must read law. Some blame me for not encouraging him to be a lawyer while others accuse me of being indifferent. To me, it doesn't really matter if he is a lawyer, a doctor or a saleman. He should grow up to be a good human being. A person who will have time and compassion for those who are less fortunate than him. I want him to have a life where he has time to stop and smell the flowers. I want his life to be a journey of surprises and discovery, and not one where he is in constant rush. Let him be anything he wants to be as long as he is happy. He should lead a life according to standards he sets himself and he should not live to please others. He should have the discipline to resist evil and the same discipline not to overindulge. He knows my weaknesses and strengths, and with that knowledge, he should be able to build his own strengths and discard what is not good for him. I have, to the best of my ability, taught him to differentiate between good and bad. You don't need to be a lawyer to know that."


I have heard many parents talked about being stressed and the kids are pressurised... If only each parent can read and do a little of Subhas did to his son, we will have a generation of happy souls. That brought me to my two kids...you know, I often tell dh that they both should be lawyers, they love to argue with each other and sometimes with me and mind you, I don't always use "but I say so..." to shut them off because they do make a lot of sense sometimes and I don't consider that as being disrespectful to me. I let them know that sometimes, parents can be wrong and its ok to tell us. I also see it as a lesson for them to learn to speak up. I have often told them over meals that they should study hard and be lawyers, in that way, they get to do what they are good at and what they love best. Surprise, surprise, Kai said he wants to be a cartoonist and Ann, a fashion designer! Well, they can but they have to be the best in the world, if not, Asia...yes, my motto for them is "To be the best". Even if they are char-kuay-teow (fried noodles) sellers, they must be one where people drive big cars and Q-up to eat their food!

As a top lawyer, I am pretty sure his language skills, his English could be "Queens-perfect" but what made the book an absorbing read is that he wrote the book simply and sometimes, using words that are down right simple and with a local taste. Like what he said, "I have written for the man in the street, not for law students and lawyers to analyse" I remember when I was doing a writing course with the LongRidge Writers Group, a bestselling author was marking my assignments and she told me that a successful writer is one who is able to touch the readers. And I find so much truth in it and so much of it is found in this book.

Ok, I think I cannot go on blogging about this book, if I do, I think it will be running in pages. I do strongly encourage you to go pick up this book, at any leading bookshops or perhaps the library. (Gosh, I sound like an advertisment!) I am just so happy to be able to find it in an old tiny bookshop tucked away in a corner of an old complex.

Subhas Anandan - The Best I could
Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited
ISBN 13: 978-981-261-457-5

Freak-ish weather in Shanghai


Mr Zhou told me that Shanghai was having strange weather...something which has never happened before, in a week, we have gone through all four seasons...


Just two days ago, flurries everywhere...


Today, dh went to our backyard and cut out this lovely flower...strange isn't it but I am not complaining...cos, spring is finally here!

Pottery class, yipeeee!






The kids were all excited when they found that they were going back to pottery class again. Kai has done it for many years until we left for the States. In fact, some of his pieces were exhibited at a pottery exhibition held at the National Library.


Happinese is doing pottery...

Do our kids have a fighting spirit in them?




I have just recently finished writing an article for a family group. I titled it "Raising Up Kids." I felt it was a harsh piece but it was something which must be addressed. I talked about most kids these days lack discipline. This was because raiseing up kids have been outsourced. Not too long later, a friend sent me an article which tied up with what I have written...something all parents must take time to read and ponder...(I have even asked Kai to read it and he nodded in agreement as he read it)


I have a prediction. My prediction is that in a couple of years, the
expatriates (from China , India , US etc...) will rule Singapore . They
will increasingly take on more leadership roles of CEOs, directors,
heads of organizations, award winners etc... If you observe closely,
it is already happening now.

Last year's top PSLE (Primary School Leaving Exam) student is a
China National. Most of the deans list students and first class
honours students in the local universities are foreigners and more and
more CEOs, even that of go vernment link corporations are expats.
The top players in our National teams are expats.

As a Singaporean, I am not complaining. I think that in a meritocratic
society like Singapore , it is only fair that the very best get rewarded,
no matter their race, religion or nationality. Like Lee Kwan Yew said,
I rather have these talented and driven people be on our team
contributing to our nation than against us from their home country.
The question I have been asking is, 'why are the expats beating the
crap out of Singaporeans?'

What I noticed is that these expats have a very important quality that
many Singaporeans (especially the new Y generation lack). It is a
quality that our grandfathers and great-grandfathers (who came from
distant lands) had that turned Singapore from a fishing village to the
third richest country in the world (according to GDP per capita).
Unfortunately, I fear this quality is soon disappearing from the new
generation of Singaporeans.

This quality is the HUNGER FOR SUCCESS and the FIGHTING SPIRIT!!!

Expats who come here today have the same tremendous HUNGER for
success that our grandfathers had. They are willing to sacrifice, work hard
and pay the price to succeed. They also believe that no one owes them a
living and they have to work hard for themselves.
They also bring with them the humility and willingness to learn.

Take the case of Qui Biqing, the girl from Qifa Primary school who topped
the whole of Singapore in last year's PSLE with a score of 290.
When she came to Singapore 3 years ago from China , she could hardly
speak a word of English and didn't even understand what a thermometer was.
Although she was 10 years old, MOE recommended she start at Primary 2
because of her lack of English proficiency. After appealing, she managed to
start in Primary 3. While most Singaporeans have a head start of learning
English at pre-school at the age of 3-4 years old, she only started at age 10.
Despite this handicapped, she had the drive to read continuously and practice
her speaking and writing skills, eventually scoring an A-star in English!

This hunger and drive can also be seen in the workforce. I hate to say this
but in a way, I sometimes think expats create more value than locals.

Expats are willing to work long hours, go the extra mile, are fiercely loyal to
you and don't complain so much. They also come a lot more qualified and do
not ask the moon for the remuneration. Recently, I placed an ad for a
marketing executive. Out of 100+ resumes, more than 60% came from expats.
While locals fresh grads are asking for $2,500+ per month, I have expats with
masters degrees from good universities willing to get less than $2,000!
They know that if they can come in and learn and work hard, they will eventually
climb up and earn alot more. They are willing to invest in themselves, pay the
price for future rewards. Sometimes I wonder how some of the locals are going
to compete with this.

Of course, this is just a generalization. There ARE definitely some Singaporeans
who create lots of value and show fighting spirit.

Unfortunately, I have found that more and more young Singaporeans lack this
hunger for success. Instead, they like to complain, blame circumstances and
wait for others to push them. Some hold on to the attitude that the world owes
them a living. I shake my head when I see local kids nowadays complain that
they don't have the latest handphones, branded clothes and games.
While I acknowledge that the kids of today are much smarter and well informed
than I was at their age (my 4 year old daughter can use my Macbook computer
and my iphone), I find that they lack the resilience and tenacity they need to
survive in the new economy.
Some kids nowadays tend to give up easily once they find that things get tough
and demand instant gratification. When they have to work first to get rewards
later, many tend to lack the patience to follow through.

So, how did this happen? Why is our nation of hardworking, hungry fighters
slowly becoming a nation of complaining softies? I think the problem is that life
in Singapore has been too good and comfortable. Kids today have never seen
hunger, poverty, war and disasters. What makes it worse is that parents
nowadays give kids everything they want and over protect them from hardship
and failure. Parents often ask me why their kids lack the motivation to study and
excel. My answer to them is because they already have everything!
Giving someone everything they want is the best way to kill their motivation.
What reason is there for them to fight to become the best when they are already
given the best from their parents without having to earn it?

It reminds me of the cartoon movie MADAGASCAR where Alex the Lion and his
animal friends were born and raised in the Central Park Zoo. They were well taken
care of and provided with processed food and an artificial jungle.
When they escaped to Africa , they found that they could barely survive in the wild
with the other animals because they had lots their instincts to fight and hunt for food.
They could only dance and sing.

I see the same thing in the hundreds of seminars and training programmes I
conduct. I see increasing more and more expats attending my Wealth Academy
and Patterns of Excellence programme in Singapore . Not surprisingly, they are
always the first to grab the microphone to answer and ask questions.

While many of the locals come in late and sit at the back. The expats (especially
those from India and China ) always sit at the front, take notes ferociously and stay
back way after the programme is over to ask questions.
I feel ashamed sometimes when I ask for volunteers to ask questions, and the
Singaporeans keep quiet, while the foreigners fight for the opportunity.

For my "I Am Gifted!' programme for students, I have the privilege to travel & conduct
it in seven countries ( Singapore , Indonesia , Hong Kong , China , Malaysia etc...) and
see students from all over. Is there a big difference in their attitude and behaviour?
You bet!

Again, I feel really sad that in Singapore , most students who come are usually
forced by their parents to come and improve themselves, Some parents even bribe
them with computer games and new handphones to attend.

During the course, some adopt the 'I know everything' attitude and lack the interest
to succeed until I kick their butts. It is so different when I go to Malaysia , Indonesia
and once in India . The kids there ask their parents to send them to my programme
They clap and cheer enthusiastically when the teachers enter the room and participate
so willingly when lessons are on. I still scratch my head and wonder what happened
to my fellow Singaporeans to this day.

So mark my words, unless the new generation of Singaporeans wake up and get out
of their happy over protected bubble and start fighting for their future, the expats
(like our great grandfathers) will soon be the rulers of the country.
At the rate at which talented and hungry expats are climbing up, our future prime
minister may be an Indian or China PR or may even be an Ang Moh! - Adam Khoo

10 years on...


As I am typing, outside there are flurries (small little, tiny snow flakes). Wish it could really snow. I missed the snow so much...

I couldn't believe it, my dear little miracle is 10 years old. How time has passed us by so quickly. The never sleep, the ever crying and colicky precious baby of mine is now a 10 year-old boy.


From this...to this

Last Friday, 5th of March, we celebrated Kai's 10-year-old birthday. A quiet but warm celebration, surrounded by his papa, mum and "Annie-ous" that's how Kai calls his sister.
He coined that name for her and now we are all calling her by that name. In the US, some of our neighbours thought that's her real name!


It's good to have a little sister when you need help to pack your birthday goody bag.


Kai's favourite homemade burger by mummy's dearest. If your kid/s love burgers, you can try this at home. It is much healthier. Buy lean cut minced meat (pork, beef or mutton) seasoned with pinch of salt and chopped onions, keep in the fride overnight and grill it in the oven when ready to eat. The meat patty will be very juicy and not dry. Burgers are never complete without fries...smilies fries for the special occasion!


Cutting his birthday cake. Travelled 1 hour to buy this Baskin Robins ice-cream birthday cake.