Relocation, good or badYesterday, after sending the kids to school, on my way out, I saw a school bus coming in with students in it and more than 50% of the kids on the bus, were sleeping soundly. My heart ached, Perhaps, it is the maternal instinct. I felt sorry for these children. I am not at all surprised that some of them may have been on the bus for at least two hours (That would have brought us from Macungie to New York city). You see, traffic in Shanghai is really bad and unpredictable. At times, you can be caught in a bad jam and at times, the traffic can be so smooth that you arrive at your destination way ahead of time.
This makes me ponder...is relocation really good? As the world globalised, moving from countries to countries is no longer rare. In fact, Kai's class teacher has been to seven countries, teaching in various schools. Some of his classmates have also travelled and changed schools so often. One boy could speak many different languages. All due to relocation. In the business world, relocation has become a necessity. Some families, choose to live apart, visiting only once in a few months while some choose to stay together no matter what happens. But those who choose to stay together, have to go through the many difficulties of living in a foreign land.
Take this relocation of ours to Shanghai for example. We are thankful that we are bilingual. Language is never a problem. The locals here understand us and we understand them. Things can done. But I have known a couple of mummies who cannot speak and understand Chinese. They went through a lot, staying in this foreign land. But I must say, I salute some of them, who take the pain to learn a new language. You hear some of them speak Chinese, they may sound strange but, let me tell you, people sit up and listen and things get done.
I have learned from the "Shanghai Family" - a magazine especially published for expatriate families staying in Shanghai. Expatriate kids are known as TCKS (third culture kids) also known as global nomads.
In the magazine, it was reported that TCKS were often faced with grief and alienation as they moved from places to places without building strong relationships with their friends.
Of course, it also depends on the individual's personality and character. Some kids, even without the relocation, also have problem with building good friendships. However, experts have found out that kids handle changes better with stability and that comes from the family. I guess, that explains why some families choose to stay together even if it means shifting to the North Pole!
Often, parents make the decision to shift and therefore, it is their responsibility to give the kids a stable and secured environment to grow up in. That means tremendous amount of efforts need to put in to make sure the kids grow up to be confident adults. That translates to lesser couple time and me time for the parents.
Living in a foreign country is very hard and stressful and extremely challenging. Relocation is good if you make it work. It is bad, when you as an adult succumb to the stress, become angry and negative. When the kids see that parents are not coping well, they cannot cope too. We all know that a healthy and happy family environment will bring up happy children. The family unit is indeed important. It is no wonder that the Bible stressed so much about the man and woman, after marriage, leaving the father and mother and creating a family unit themselves. In case, you do not know, it started from Genesis, the first book of the Bible.
It is tough, very tough to live abroad but like what Jennifer Lee of Shanghai Family said,
"Expatriate kids (families) have a lot going for them. They speak multiple languages, show exceptional intellectual and social flexibility and possess a highly valued global perspective"
Is it still good then to relocate? I would say yes. Once you survive the period of 'wilderness', you will find the land flowing with milk and honey.
